The Rough Times

I had a rough evening last night. Jeremy was late getting home and I kept thinking that maybe something happened to him. I felt an overwhelming sense of fear. Then I started to miss Jolianne. I missed holding her while she slept. I missed the way she used to smell. The cute noises she would make when she was trying to talk to me. I was truly sad. There are certain things that may happen in life that make us sad. Some are more severe than others. You know what I mean, different levels of events. You never know when you experience something hurtful if this will be the saddest you will ever be. You can't really tell until the next sad thing happens and you have something to compare to. Death is so absolute. There are many different levels to it. No matter how many people you talk to, each experience is different. It's different and the same. People grieve differently. Even in the same family people grieve differently. Sometimes it is me who breaks down and sometimes it is Jeremy. It is amazing how we can lean on each other and gather strength in each other. I love my husband so so much. We have a deeper understanding of each other. I know that he will be there no matter how hard life gets. What an amazing gift God gave me when he gave me Jeremy!!