Mail and Cows (just keep reading)

It is so weird, but this past week I have gotten so much mail about "The Loss of Your Child". It's like I was put on some kind of mailing list or something. I don't want to read any of it either. I'm not really sure why, but I just don't. It feels weird because when I flip through them they are all telling me what is OK for me to feel. I don't really need books for that. I know how I feel. I don't really care if someone wrote it down on a piece of paper to make it OK. The truth of the matter is, it's almost as if reading all of those pamplets will make everything even more real than it already is. All they do is make me feel depressed (a feeling I have been trying desprately to avoid.)Maybe eventually I will get around to reading them, for now I will focus on the fictional pieces. I have completely submerged myself in the Twilight series. I read Eclipse last week and I have moved on to Breaking Dawn Sunday evening. I can't put the books down. It is like a little escape for me. A vacation from reality. I get so wrapped up in the stories. It feels nice to get away for a while and not have to deal.

I have been doing pretty good about keeping busy. The boys where off on Monday and Tuesday. It was nice to get to spend time with them. Ronnie got a new scooter for Christmas and he wanted to take it for a ride down the street. I drove us to the blacktop and he scooted along while I walked behind him. I stared to think back to when my brothers and I would ride our bikes and roller blade down that very road. We felt so free to be out "on our own" exploring the world around us. It made me happy to know that Ronnie was getting to feel that way now. There are perks to living in the country. You aren't really in danger of traffic while you are enjoying yourself being a kid. It is nice as a grown up also. You get to sit on your porch and no one around to bother you or be annoying. There is a group of cows that come into our yard every night. We don't even think anything of it anymore. Those three black cows have somehow become part of our family. Jeremy said to me last night that he thought it was kind of cool to have cows in the yard. We'll see what the thinks when he steps in a cow paddy!!! ha ha That will probably be more funny to me than to him but oh well, you gotta get your laughs however and whenever you can.