The Easter Basket

Basket that I made for Jolianne's Room

Jolianne's basket at the cemetery

I have been going back and forth with myself this month trying to decide if I should do an Easter Basket for Jo Jo. I went to the store today to get stuff for the boys' baskets and when I was in the Easter section I noticed this cute dainty pink basket with pink frillies around the edges. The moment I saw it I knew that I had to get it. I went to the eggs and saw the cutest little eggs decorated with butterflies and flowers and I knew I had to get them as well. I thought to myself, "I need to make Jolianne a basket too, I don't care how silly it may seem to anyone else. I need to do this for her." It gave me such joy to sit and think about how I was going to decorate all of the kids' baskets.

I want to ask you all to do something special this week. Make an Easter Basket for a loved one who is now in Heaven. I know that it may be hard to do, but this is what I hope for you. While you make your basket, think of only happy memories that you have of your loved one. Take some time and write down some of your favorite memories and place your writings in some of the eggs you have chosen. Imagine that your special someone is looking down from Heaven to see the beautiful gift you have made. (I believe that they will be!) If you can, take your basket to the cemetery as a memorial. It would even be special to have your basket be the centerpiece for your Easter lunch or dinner with your family. I believe in continuing to remember our loved ones through acts of love and kindness. The greatest gifts ever given are from your heart!!!

Please remember on Easter that Jesus gave his life for you and me. He loves us with all of his heart. His Easter gift for us is everlasting life.

Love you all,
Crystal

Happy 31st Birthday!!!!

Hello Everyone, Kim Clayton here. I am Crystal's Sister in Law and I am sneaking on her blog to post a little message to her and wish her a very Happy Birthday!

I probably cannot top the amazing post that her husband did yesterday but that's ok :O)

Happy Birthday Crystal

I am so glad that God put us in the same family.

It is so neat that we were chosen to become

John & Jeremy's wives so that we could become sister-in-laws.

I feel like I have known you forever and not just for 8 years.

You are such an amazing person!

Almost 3 months ago you lost your sweet little girl and you found so much strength with the Lord to get you through.

I told John this morning that I would love to find that strength that you have and hopefully I can.

I got closer to God when Christopher was born but I would love to get even closer like you have.

You are such a strong, caring, loving, giving person

You are a wonderful mother and wife

You are a wonderful sister in law!

I hope you have a wonderful birthday today, you deserve it!

I love ya!

Kim

My Strong and Beautiful Wife

Hello, this is Crystal's husband Jeremy. Crystal normally updates this site every Thursday but she was a little busy. I figured I would write on her behalf today. She is on a Church women's retreat with a bed and breakfast. Crystal has been so strong the last few months for our family. She keeps a smile most of the time and concentrates on the blessing that we have recieved through these times of trial. I know that she has explained some of the things that our family has experienced lately and how we cope with everything. What she probably has not told you is how much she is the glue that has held this family together. Even on the day our world changed forever, she made time to be with the kids so that they were not as scared. She has kept me from going over the edge when I would feel like giving up. Ever since I met my baby girl she has been upbeat and caring. Everyone that knows her has seen her kindness and it oozes from her. One of the most heart wrenching things about loosing our little girl is seeing my wife suffer.

At times, she would see other mothers on the news that were in trouble because they put their children in danger in some way, or something that is all to common these days, a parent putting their needs above their childrens. Crystal is the total opposite, she almost gives so much Andy, Ronnie and her third child JEREMY, that she ends up doing without. She would sometimes ask me why did she not get to keep Jolianne when there are so many that treat their children like any other possesion. I dont know why but I have learned a few things because of her and these could be some of the reasons that Jesus decided to give Jolianne to us for her short time.

1) Crystal and I have found Jesus again. We used to call ourselves Christians in name only and I know that we would not be as close to him without this happening. What good is it to miss her if we wont be able be with her forever once this is all done.

2) How important our family really is. I have never loved my family as much as now. This includes our extended family as well. We all have suffered through this.

3) How strong my family is. They say that a castostrophic event can tear a family apart. Crystal has done everything to prevent this and our family is stronger than ever.

4) How pretty some of my traits can be on a little girl. Ronnie looks just like his momma, but Jolliane had quite a few of my features and she was the most beatiful girl ever. :)

Please keep reading Crystal's posts, she really loves to write and get things off her chest. The people that read this blog are a great source of caring for her and I thank you.

Jolianne's Daddy and Crystal's loving husband

The other day I read on another friend's blog something that I have asked myself a few times. She is another mother who lost her daughter recently and we have connected through our shared losses. She wrote that there is a name for you if you have lost your parents, an orphan. There is a name for you if you have lost a spouse, a widow or a widower. There is not a name for those who have lost a child. I too wondered why that was. Why is there not an acknowledgement for those of us who have lost children. I asked my husband and he told me that it is because it isn't natural to die before your child does. Although that is true. It doesn't take away from the fact that it does happen. There are times when a child passes before their parent does. I have been thinking about this for a few months now. This is what I have come up with. I am still Jolianne's mother. Even though there are people that may meet me that have no idea that my child ever existed, she did. Even though I won't have the tale, tale signs of spit up on my shirt or a car seat in my car, I still have a love that is so very deep for my child. My husband is still her father, my son's are still her brother. My family is still her family. There doesn't need to be an alternative name for what we are. We get the privilege of being the mothers and fathers to sweet angels in heaven. These children only know happiness. They are content and at peace. They are in the presence of God. Although while we are still here on Earth our hearts will ache for the experiences that we will never have, we can find peace in our hearts to know that they are not in pain, they will not experience discomfort or suffering. The bible says that what seems like years will just be a moment once we are reunited. There are days when I feel very strong and there are days when I feel very weak. There are nights when I cry myself to sleep and there are mornings when I feel refreshed and ready to face the day. Although my days may be up and down, there is one thing that I know for certain. I would not be able to do anything without God and my family to support me.

There are some books that I have been reading that have really made a difference in my life.

1. The Bible-I would recommend a study Bible if you are just getting started like I am. It makes things a lot easier to understand. I have a NIV (New International Version) Study Bible. It has been easier for me to read than the King James Version was. I would also recommend starting with the New Testament first, it may be easier to understand that way.

2. Safe in the Arms of God, John MacArther. This is a book that was given to me by my mother-in-law. I actually started reading this book before I started the Bible. It really helped me with questions that I had about Jolianne's death. There are stories from the bible and stories from other parents that have lost a child(ren). After reading this book I wanted to know more about God's Word so that lead to the Bible.

3. Get a good Devotional book. It really helps to start the day off hearing God's Word. There are several different kinds of devotionals, some for men, women, children, teachers, there are a bunch to choose from. The one I have is called Hearing from God each morning-Joyce Meyer.

4. The Confident Woman-Joyce Meyer. This is a book about finding confidence in God. It has been a very eye opening book for me. It has really changed my outlook on life and what God's Plan is for me.

I know that you may be thinking that that is a lot of reading, and it is. Just start out with a little at a time. I read one chapter of the bible to my son Ronnie every night. I set aside some extra time in the morning to read my devotional. These things take 10 to 20 minutes to do. You can read your bible on your lunch break or before you go to bed. My brother Zach told me that he would like to have a devotional to read each morning while he reads his bible. Just do what you can. I think that you will be very happy with the results. God is everywhere around us. Please make the time to put him in your life, you will be happy that you did.

The Eyes Have It

Recently I have had a few people say to me that I seem different to them. This morning I saw my mom before she went to work and she said. "Crystal you look so pretty today." My reply was, "What, I look horrible!" Let me paint you a picture. Old sweatshirt, blue jeans, worn out sneakers, hair pulled back in a clip. She then said, "There's just something in your eyes, the inside coming through."I truly believe that your eyes are a window to your soul. I can remember right after Jo Jo passed when I would look at my eyes and they were so sad. Even when I would try to smile and have a happy attitude you could still see that sadness. I do feel differently now. There is a happiness that I haven't felt in a very long time. When I think of Jolianne it always puts a smile on my face. I miss her so very much, but I focus on good memories that I have of her. Special moments that we shared. Her sweet innocent little face. What a blessing I received.

I am very excited about next week. The boys are off for Spring Break and I am looking forward to hanging out with them. It has been a long time since I got to be off work for Spring Break. I hope that everyone is having a good day.

She's Got A Ticket To Ride

There has been a lot of talk lately about "The End of Days". In the news, at church, conversations with family. I have to admit that the thought of the world ending has always been unappealing to me. I would always think to myself, "There are so many things that I want to achieve, so much I want to see, so much to accomplish. I was living my life for the rewards on earth. I have always been worried that I would be among the ones that were left behind. The thought of that was always very scary to me. The other day when I was at church, Bro Bob mentioned "The End of Days". For the first time in my life, my first thought was, "Alright, bring it on, I get to go to Heaven a little sooner than I thought." It really opened my eyes to how much my life has changed in the last few months. The rearrangement of my priorities, the realization that there is nothing on earth that can come close to comparing to what my life in Heaven will be, the willingness to allow God to be in control of my life. I have started living my life for the rewards of Heaven. Jesus paid for my way to Heaven when He died on the cross. I simply had to go and pick up my ticket. All these years and I finally got it.

I'm living in the days ahead

I'm already dancin' on the streets of gold

Can't stop celebrating in my soul

I'm living in the days ahead

Nothing on Earth could ever compare

Can't wait for the day when I get there

When I see Jesus face to face

What could be better

2007 33 Miles